nifties | I'm way too young to lie here forever⭐️

Zari keeps to fixing her hair like it's a ritual. She sprays, she smooths with her fingers, and repeats the process with another quarter of hair. It is quickly getting back under control. "I know, but they don't know what I look like and Behrad doesn't remember." When she's anything else than perfect she means. John is really the only person who ever sees Zari at her least glamorous. Even her casual breakfast look is something carefully constructed to make them see just how effortless fabulous she is.

Edited 2020-11-29 00:17 (UTC)

John can't help but roll his eyes even as halfway through getting his pants back up his legs he's realizing she's serious. And here come his own insecurities flooding back that if Zari had better self-esteem there's no way she would be with him, let alone for a whole year. He manages to get some facsimile of dressed and steals a couple spritzes of whatever random perfume is most handy before meeting her at her vanity and encircling her waist with both hands so they can look in the mirror together. The memory of the last time they did this does nothing to help his situation, but he doesn't think he can let this moment pass him by; not this time.

"Zari, you're the only one who cares if your hair is messy. Look at you." John is dead serious, he really wants her to look. A sun spot here or there, some darkness under her eyes and around her mouth. No real wrinkles that he can spot, especially not compared to his face just behind hers, but all the tiny flaws make up the most beautiful image he's ever seen. "What do you see?"

Edited 2020-11-29 12:39 (UTC)

She feels that familiar surge when he gets behind her. The words effectively cool that down. Zari is confronted with what she said instead of being able to be written off as eccentric or a brat. To say she's uncomfortable is an understatement. The influencer can't be angry with him when it comes from such a place of love. He really does look at her like she's the most beautiful creature he's ever seen even at her least glamorous. Isn't that beautiful in itself?

She forces herself to look at the image reflected back at her, settling down the bottle to keep from fidgeting with it. Zari hates that she can't see what he sees. She hates more that she has to admit it. Her bottom lip trembles just before she forces the words past them. "Things I have to fix." It comes out flat and small like she's embarrassed. She is, of course. He's not supposed to see this part too.

Zari's eyes meet his in the mirror. "It's different for me, okay? They're expecting gorgeous Zari. I can't look like this around them. They'll stare." You know at the millions of flaws that have been beaten into her head since the age of ten.

He carefully watches her expression, and soon it's enough to shatter his heart in his chest. John smoothes out a few strands of her hair that are statically clinging and probably driving her insane. He hates that she can't see it too, but that doesn't mean he has to help feed her psychosis.

"You already are her." She's always gorgeous to him, and he sighs, squeezing her around the middle and drawn to stare at her reflection again. "And if they do stare, it's because they see what I see." John kisses the side of her face gently, knowing saying that probably won't change anything, but he has to try.

Edited 2020-11-30 01:39 (UTC)

It absolutely was driving her insane. Zari sighs in relief when the stands finally stick back down. She wishes this conversation could be enough to undo years of damage from being picked apart by everyone. It does make her feel a little better. Zari rests her hands over his, gratitude clear in her expression as she looks at him. He's so good. She wonders not for the first time if he sees it too.

"You're just saying that because you're so in love with me that it's blinded you." Yes, she is kind of quoting Padme Amidala. If Behrad is going to pick Star Wars for every movie night, she had to find something to love about those movies!! (Even if now she cries whenever Natalie Portman comes up.)

Zari doesn't want to dismiss what he's saying outright. She picks something she thinks she can be comfortable with. "But, in case you're onto something... maybe I can start slow. Like no makeup? During breakfast. They'll be too focused on their food to say anything." Or more likely no one will notice because those dummies love her too except Mick who will probably prefer it tbh.

"That must be it," he agrees with a warm smile, kissing at the rise of her cheek again and starting to reluctantly disentangle himself. Since they are in front of a mirror, he tries to get his hair not to stick straight up off his head, but quickly abandons the effort to track down his boots. Just as he starts to turn away is when she drops the bombshell, however, and he ends up frozen in place. It's the last thing he expected her to offer, but that such a simple thing literally elates him ought to be a little weird. "But with my admittedly very clouded judgment... I think I might be onto something, too."

He bites into his lip to keep from ruining the moment, tapping on the surface of the dresser idly before heading on his way. This is their makeshift family, John thinks they can deal not seeing Zari perfectly done up. Not to mention they'd appreciate the extra bathroom time.

His efforts to fix his hair actually make her smile. John's approval even more so. It's not like she's chasing it or anything. He's changed her too in ways she hasn't quite accepted yet. One of the biggest ways is helping make her more comfortable in her own skin. Sure, Ava helps too just by existing as someone so confident and free from Zari's perspective. John's love does a lot of the heavy-lifting. "See you at breakfast, sweetie."

Zari ends up doing a simple side braid that manages to look just messy enough to appear authentic. She stays in her pajamas to go enjoy her tea, vegan eggs, and roasted veggies with their family. Naturally no one notices and the usual bickering continues. It turns out to be a great way to start the morning.

He heads out before her, but is even more pleasantly surprised when actually Zari shows up looking undone. Things proceed as normal throughout the day from there, complete with some time crisis nearly killing them all. It all seems very status quo to John, but that could just be because he's thinking of the night to come. They've never been on a real date, at least, not one where they could actually be themselves in public. Though he hadn't planned much, he did order a suit in advance. One that was warm-colored as Zari suggested, but also slightly dressed down for their dinner-and-spa ordeal.

John waits at their table, checking his watch and pushing his shades up onto his head as he feels nerves fill his belly like fluttering moths. He expects her to be "fashionably" late, though he never did understand the phrase. He orders a scotch and runs his free hand over his freshly shaved face, frowning at the sensation. If he had bothered to get a haircut, he might actually look like a completely different person, and his back is to the door as she comes in, not wanting to make himself even more nervous than he already is.

They've never been on a real date. Zari obsesses over creating the right look for it. She needs to fit in comfortably with the year while also looking amazing. It's a unique challenge, but when has the Zari Tarazi ever back down from anything?

She ends up in a red and black dress she thinks he'll appreciate and white heels with a black blazer over for modesty (and sweet pockets for her makeup) even if her legs are on display as usual. Her hair remains down with her natural curls covering her shoulders. The totem is attached to her wrist at Behrad's insistence. Something, something about threatening to crash her date by throwing it at her head and running away. She's not even going to try to figure out how he knew their anniversary much less that they were running off for it.

Zari catches eyes as usual as she glides through the restaurant like she owns the place. (For the record, she is late.) That familiar mess of hair identifies John before any staff can help her. She saunters up to cheerfully, heels announcing her as always. "Look who decided to dress up for his anniversary..." She starts to tease as she grabs the seat across from John without really looking just yet. Zari settles in to appreciate the view. Her smile drops the second she takes a good look at him. Zari is honestly so shocked she can't even school her reaction. "What happened to your face?!" Happy anniversary. :)

Edited 2020-11-30 22:42 (UTC)

The clack of her heels gets him to look up from his drink, setting his glasses down from fidgeting with them and taking her in through the beautiful bouquet of dried roses in the center of their small table. He opens his mouth to comment on how gorgeous she looks when instead he's flushing at hers and reaching out to take another sip from his glass.

...And then wishing he hadn't when the follow-up hits him and he nearly spits it out. John just barely manages to swallow the booze and set it down without incident, teeth digging into his bottom lip to keep from laughing at her dramatic antics. Not like he's usually any better.

"I shaved... for you. You're welcome." Okay, he's choking on his saliva a little despite all the effort not to.

A hand goes to her chest in a classic drama queen move. "I'm just in shock! Don't choke on me." Zari pleads very loudly. The poor staff is trapped between watching and trying to work as they try to figure out if this man actually will choke. John seems okay enough. Zari agrees considering she's still staring at him and making zero effort to help.

"I've never seen you without facial hair. Is this what your face looks like when you're not trying to be dark and mysterious?" She reaches over to actually touch his face. What? They're past personal boundaries. He would literally be naked all day in her bed if she let him as far as Zari is concerned.

"No," he protests in more of a whine than anything, definitely not in any actual danger of choking though at the moment he wishes he were to spare himself the embarrassment. For whatever reason, he tries to squirm out of her reach before accepting his fate and reluctantly leaning his cheek against Zari's outstretched palm. "This is what I look like when I shave my face."

He hasn't had a reason to in a really long time, though as Zari keeps pointing out Ray's wedding would have been the perfect excuse to dress up. But then he would've looked like he actually wanted to be there :(

"Oh my god, we've been dating a year and you don't even like my face," he waxes dramatically, though a part of him is worried of exactly that.

She actually reaches for it like a little kid until he gives in. Zari feels the skin appreciatively, smiling because that actually doesn't hurt for once. It slips a little when Zari realizes she may be giving him a complex.

She strokes her thumb more boldly to reassure John. "I love your face, sheereen-am. You know you're my pretty moon. A work of art." Zari calls back with a cheesy smile. What? He's doing this to himself. "No one else compares to you."

He rolls his eyes, but soon she's taking it too far for even him and he's batting her hand away wearing a beet red face.

"I regret this already," he deadpans, leaning back from her to take a more generous swig from his drink. He hasn't eaten since breakfast so it does nothing to calm his flush, but he'll take tiny victories where he can find them. "Should I even bother telling you how stunning you look, or are we past that now?"

Zari withdraws her hand with a very pleased smile. Okay, she's very smug about getting a rise out of John. What's new? "We're never past that. I'll accept all praises you have to sing for me." She takes a dainty sip of her complimentary water. "And don't lie. You love being handsome for me." Zari winks.

Okay now she's really done embarrassing him. She'll start waving someone over to bring the menus.

It's not like he can deny it when he bought this suit just to impress her. He can't help one last self-conscious touch to his own face before draining his glass and accepting the menu from their server with a meek smile. Usually he'd be more flirtatious with a handsome man such as him, but Zari truly flustered him.

"I got this tailored, you know." He says it like a threat as he taps his glass forcefully to order another drink as he holds his menu up to shield his face until he can start feeling heat drain from it. "But I love... that dress."

"One of the many reasons it looks so good on you." Zari compliments smoothly. That is the truth. She really has to admire how that brings out his eyes and compliments that wild hair of his. She wonders if she can sneak a photo later without Ava appearing out of thin air to yell about the timeline.

Her cheeks darken at the compliment. She literally got this dress because it reminded her of John. She associates dark colors, flowers, and red with him in her head between the drug trip and the fire. The material he always seems to appreciate too. "Thank you. I picked it especially for you." She orders a sparking cider after a quick reject of the bar menu. The food as always takes special consideration so she's in no rush to order. Those calories aren't going to count themselves.

"Even with my clean face?" he taunts, finally letting the menu fall a bit as he feels the blush start to ebb. Her admittance causes a new warmth to take its place, a slow smile starting from one corner of his lips and spreading across his mouth. "No, you didn't. You had that."

He has to go shopping for dates!!! She has like, ten million clothes. Don't buy things for him to look at when he'd love her in anything... All John can do is sigh at her, dropping one elbow onto the scant table space so he can prop said clean face on his hand to better level her with his stare.

"What are you thinking?" For food. He never can decide considering he so rarely has an actual meal.

Zari doesn't rise to the bait. He's showing her that perfect face of his so she got what she wanted. "I never joke about clothes, John." It's actually her little treat to herself. She tries to find something that reminds her of him and the other Legends while out and about at functions. It makes Zari feel less lonely. That's a little too pathetic to admit even to John. No, Leslay gets to hear about it instead.

"Hm... I'm loving their stacked salad for me. I think for you we can probably go with the filet mignon, but only if I can have a few of those mushrooms that go with it. They look heavenly." So maybe she should order them and stop denying herself actual food. Let's not go crazy here.

"No, but there's such a thing as a good lie," he reminds her, impossibly fond. It doesn't actually matter to him how she spends her money, of course, and it is somehow sweet that they each went to great lengths to look good for the other, even if his efforts mostly backfired. He hums in response to her suggestion, going back and forth with himself over if he should say it. Why not, at this point? "This is a special occasion, Zari. You know you can order anything you want."

It seems worth saying even if he's already more than impressed with her for not wearing makeup to breakfast this morning. Baby-steps are sometimes better and more significant than giant leaps.

"But if you want the mushrooms, I'll order it. Or you can for me, if that will excite you." He has to tease her as he accepts his fresh drink and watches her get hers, reaching out to clink their glasses together as he waits for her verdict.

She bats her eyes at him. Zari leans forward to playfully banter with him. "It does excite me, John. I've been thinking about ordering for you all day." Zari takes a sip of her drink and mulls it over. This is a special occasion. The success from this morning is making bold. If John can put himself out there for a night, why not her? She can make it up at the gym tomorrow.

"You know what? You shaved your face and wore a tailored suit. Screw it. I'm going to eat roasted chicken and mushrooms even though they probably make it with too much oil and it isn't a family event! Then we're going out for donuts. It's been 320 days, eighteen hours, and twenty-five minutes, John. I miss them so much. We need to get donuts." She sighs deeply like they're her long lost love. You know. Accurate tbh. "With frosting and sprinkles. I need at least 200 sprinkles on mine." Don't even ask how she knows the right amount. Lost love!!

He rolls his eyes again, but leans in too like a good sport anyway. It makes him feel powerful, her listening to him twice in one day. Maybe they really are onto something.

"In that case... I think I'll have the fish. Before doughnuts." John is looking forward to witnessing the sugar rush, and he lifts his glass back to his lips mostly to hide his smile this time. "That is, if you approve."

Edited 2020-12-01 05:16 (UTC)

"Hm... cliche, but okay. I approve of your choice." Zari says graciously. She does in fact order for them if only to keep the joke going and somewhat out of reflex. Those control freak tendencies are hard to keep in check all the time.

"You know before I got the dietitian, I think I was fourteen-" Zari laughs because this story is so dumb. She thinks he'll appreciate it. "You know those little chickens they sell at the store fully cooked? I actually ate one by myself. Ditched the entourage they stuck me with, stole eight dollars from Mamaan, and just had a nice afternoon eating chicken outside a grocery store. My idea of teenage rebellion. They probably thought I was a total psycho." She rolls her eyes fondly. This reminds her a little bit of that having let herself off the hook twice in one day.

"How is that cliché?" he challenges, but doesn't get an answer before their server reappears to take down the order from Zari. It makes John perk up a little, that she actually did that, still leaning forward in his chair so her perfume mixes with the scent of the roses intoxicatingly. She's already launching into a story so he goes quiet to listen, at least for as long as he can stand it before he interrupts with a chuckle. "You weren't psycho, you were starved."

He would argue she still is, take it from a guy who has actually starved before. He shakes his head, indeed endeared by her story, however slightly disturbing it may be.

"We could go get a rotisserie and sit outside Aldi if you'd rather." Said in that typical sarcasm, but she also should know by now he would 100% ditch out on their fancy dinner to relive her sad childhood with her in a heartbeat.

Zari pops hers shoulder to concede his point. That's pretty much what people told her down the line. Honestly even with professionals she's only managing to avoid being malnourished through a lot of supplements. Maybe five years from now Zari will realize how insane that is and try to make the switch back to eating like a person. Maybe sooner. Being with him and the team, Zari is gradually getting more comfortable in her skin.

She laughs at the comment. Zari clearly considers it for a second which surprises her. Isn't this what she wanted? Some picture perfect anniversary date with fancy clothes and food? "You're not serious. I know you didn't get a suit to hang out at a grocery store with me."

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