nifties | You let the Devil in 😈

You let the Devil in 😈

Ever since he agreed to go on this trip with Zari, his mind's been turning over and over about it. Technically, yes, the Legends are adults. Some of them even managed to survive for years without them aboard (which seems miraculous now.) But that doesn't make it any easier for him to leave his hatchlings, no matter how many speeches Sara has about how they only live once and they should go enjoy themselves. And he knows Ava has pulled Zari aside to essentially say the same thing just in a more Ava type way.

The thing is, even when John is running away, it's never for long and he's usually only pretending to dick off. As he thinks back over the years, has he ever taken a real vacation? Ever? Something creepy or crawly always manages to find him wherever he goes and that's weighing heavily on his mind as well. If the team will be safe without him, will Zari be safe with him?

He keeps starting and stopping packing, not like it matters when he knows Zari is going to make him get a whole different wardrobe the second they're alone. He's been avoiding that one for long enough so he's kind of resigned to the whole affair honestly. Packing means leaving though, indefinitely the way his life goes. What if they damage the timeline by being out there together? And again, what if the Legends really really need them??

Yeah, so he's spiraling. When Zari finds him, he'll be pacing the length of his room back and forth - back and forth. Every time he crosses his suitcase, he drops something new in and/or takes something out so that the job never actually gets finished. He's so absorbed in his weird, manic ritual that he doesn't even notice her coming in until she's right in front of him. Her sudden appearance (from his perspective) actually makes him jump before he manages to focus his foggy gaze on her.

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"Yeah?" he seeks confirmation, unsure how to accept this nonstop compliment train. He looks at himself in the full-length mirror behind her and turns to check himself out. "I guess I don't hate it."

He's already getting winded and there are so many items before him. It feels so wasteful too, not that he's usually all too concerned with excess, but this is excess just for the sake of it and it feels almost wrong somehow even when he knows Zari has more money than God.

"You're eerily good at guessing sizes." Which is kind of creepy but whatever. He reaches out for her to idly trail his fingers down her arm, as ever finding himself fall into her eyes when they lock on his.

His touch sends a pleasant shot of energy through her system. Zari almost regrets living out this fantasy when there are so many better ones to get to. "This is what I do." Zari points out carefully after taking a second to reboot her brain. Yes, she's pretty wrapped up in John. She knows all the things about him that are important to her. This is also her business. She is very good at it.

"Think you can handle five more wardrobe changes, not including swim trunks, or do you want to take my word for it?" She can practically sense the weakness. Give into her whims!!!

"Five?" he questions her, exhaustion leaking into his tone despite himself. This is what he gets for never changing his clothes. Still, it is tempting to take the easy way out. John worms his way in a little closer, bemused by how much she's getting into this. "What about your fashion show?" An acknowledgment that he'll still do it if she wants, now that it's just them back here he doesn't feel as self-conscious. Of course, he hasn't seen the eighth outfit yet...

He leans in to peck her lips, nothing lingering about it while they're still in semi-public.

"Hey, where's my jewelry?" he asks suddenly, just now remembering her strange obsession with piling as many weird expensive things on his body as she can. It's as charming as it is completely bizarre.

"We can skip a few looks even you're tired." Zari reassures him before he kisses her. It is sweet even while brief. Zari lets it go since the last thing she needs is to even risk a chance of them getting on film making out. Stupid, TMZ.

"Oh! Right! The bracelets." She grins so brightly. She reaches back to the cart and presents them in all their earthy glory. "What do you think? They match your eyes, right? No big deal if you don't agree, but just know that you and Behrad are wrong." She points out sweetly. Don't even ask how long she's been planning this.

He just holds out his free arm, his other hand encircling her wrist while he can have a tiny bit of contact before being relegated back to the dressing room. That is until her next sentence gives him pause.

"You talked to him about this?" Like how long ago because now it's weird even for them.

Zari immediately starts to slip it on, visibly enjoying dressing him. "Of course I did. He has a flair for fashion even if it's not my style. I needed another set of eyes and Ava would just let you wear whatever you want." She sighs in disappointment. Her poor silly bff!! Sara could be put into so many stunning outfits with those curves.

Zari reluctantly drops her hand from his arm. "What do you think?"

"I didn't realize so much research went into this." He's still confused, but she's so happy... ugh!!! "I think... you're lucky I love you."

He rolls his eyes fondly and kisses her one more time for good measure before picking out some more clothes to try on, trying to grab them quickly enough she can't see what he's going for. John comes back out after only a few moments, getting better at this whole thing as he goes. This one actually makes him feel pretty awesome, and the light-colored shorts make him not look so sickly pale. He struts past her like he's actually on a runway this time, and he honestly looks like he could be on one with the bracelets and the sunnies bringing it all together. John tips down his glasses to catch her eyes as he turns back around.

"Should we start a ratings system?"

"I know that, dummy." Zari retorts, loving how much he's saying that. Each time hits her straight in the chest. Her heart feels so big at this point she thinks she'll explode. Zari keeps that to herself since it is a scary image to put in John's head. For once, she waits patiently and it's well worth it.

She squeals in delight at the show, clapping her hands again at how the image came together in real life. "Yes! It's actually a crime that I can't record this." Zari whines for a second before going back to her pure delight. "I'd give this one four stars, but full disclosure it's only because I love warm colors on you. It's a five star outfit for sure."

It starts a miniature fire in his chest as well, though he's doing his best to breeze past it. It's hard not to get into this when she's clearly so delighted. She talks about fashion and cosmetics enough, of course, and that's her industry; but he's never actively indulged this side of her before and he's realizing that was probably a mistake. Typical stubborn Constantine. Surely... well, he'll just start with vacation wear and go from there, or his head might actually explode.

"Warm colors... educate me, darling." His hands run over the stack of items left and he stops over a stylish pair of swim shorts. "Would these be considered warm? They'd really bring out the sunburn on my knees..." Another stupid joke about his complexion, but it's marginally less self-hating this time.

"Go two outfits back. Warm colors are your browns, reds, oranges.... Why do you think your red tie looks slightly less hideous on you than the others, babe?" Zari states like it's obvious. It completely escapes her how rude that is as per usual. This is her being honest. She gives the shorts a once over and shakes her head. "And that's more pastel. Also flattering in many, many ways." She sighs wistfully. She really is going to love having him without his shirt for extended periods of time. God really does love her despite all the dead brothers in multiple timelines nonsense.

"Try to wear those as much as you can."

He snorts, not offended in the least by her rudeness. He's used to it and even charmed by it by now. "I never thought about it," he admits as he continues to gently rifle through the seemingly giant pile of clothing she's picked out for him in such a tiny amount of time. John cottons onto that wistful tone rather quickly, smiling as he pushes his shades up into his hair to better see the colors. He's starting to see the warm and the cool and the saturation and wonders idly if he could ever have an eye for this or if it's truly inherent.

"...I could make you a deal," he proposes suddenly, lips twitching up on one side her only warning as her obvious love for his new bathing suit inspires him. "What's one thing in this shop you want to see me in? I'll model it for you, and even wear it out..." John steps a little closer not that anyone seems to be paying them any attention. The annoying tourist angle works all too well for them, really. "If you wear your new bedroom costume for me when we get back to the room."

It's obvious he doesn't just mean something in this pile by the way he glances back into the racks beyond the changing area. Hint hint this is when Zari gets to dress him in this number.

Their cover works because they are so obviously tourists and annoying. Granted Zari is definitely playing it up, but still must come off as hella annoying. All that said, she isn't thinking about covers the moment she sees that smile. Zari smells blood in the water. She's exactly the kind of person to capitalize on it. What he offers is literally too good to be true. She literally brought ten options for sexy bedtime clothing just for the sake of it. He was going to get all that for free. What a fool she was.

"Deal." Zari says seconds after the condition is made. She immediately turns on her heel to get it. She knows exactly what her dream outfit is. It only takes a few minutes for her to come back with the outfit in question looking downright gleeful as she presents it to John. "This is it. You're going to look amazing."

He knows she would dress up for him, which is heady enough as it is. But she should know by now he works in deals and quid pro quos - it makes him feel like no one is being taken advantage of and it's fun to see that spark in her eyes at his offer.

"This was your plan all along," he accuses with zero heat as he takes the hanger from her and leans in to kiss her cheek. "Diabolical." With that, he disappears back into the cubicle to let out his real reaction to the garment. This is what she finds sexy...? He's not even 100% sure how to get it on. After some struggling and cursing under his breath about whether it will even fit, he gets all his buttons done up and makes the mistake of looking in the mirror... He doesn't even recognize himself in this and his expression is obviously bewildered as he exits the room and leans back against the door a minute to catch his breath.

He reads her expression as... hungry, which he's assuming is a good thing as he steps back over to the cart to select accessories and shoes that might go along. To his credit, he doesn't ask for her help before choosing a necklace, a bracelet, big sunglasses, and a pair of white sneakers that seems safe with all the colors going on. Before he can talk himself out of it, he's walking down the length of the partition between the dressing rooms and the sales floor in his best model walk, which might be slightly exaggerated. He's treating this like a mission, not that he's against being silly on occasion; and Zari seems to bring it out of him more often than not.

Turning on his heel, John dramatically rips his sunglasses off and catches her eye with a hammy wink, changing course slightly on his way back so he ends up right in front of her instead. "Well...?" he demands, doing one more spin for her benefit before leaning in and palming her hip with his free hand.

She smiles at the accusation and the kiss. There was definitely a plan. Zari likes how he brought it to fruition better. It takes a great amount of self-control not to laugh at his struggle. It is adorable that he has no idea how it works. It really highlights just how different they are in some ways. She's not thinking of that when John appears or his obvious confusion. Zari is seeing her very pretty fantasy come to life. It immediately gets under her skin.

She takes John in with her eyes hungrily, eyes very blatantly going over his thighs. There is a compliment on her tongue about his choices in shoes and jewelry, but she can't get it out. Damn he looks good. The walk is actually killing her. Maybe this was a mistake. Zari does not regret it even if she definitely needs to hang onto her wits for dear life now.

She leans in for a kiss the second his hand hits her hip, unable to contain herself. Zari does have the brains to pull back a second before it stops being appropriate. "Perfect. You're so gorgeous." She compliments sincerely. It's never wise to heap too much praise onto a self-loathing man. Zari quickly tacks on, "Your walk could use some work. That turn would get you laughed out of Milan." She's just saying!!!

His eyes shut automatically into the kiss, appreciating that as her answer more than the words that follow. John rests his forehead against hers since he's had enough of the mall and he did tell her he would wear this out at her behest.

He opens his mouth, perhaps to debate the word 'gorgeous,' but he never gets it out before she's critiquing him instead. It gets a warm laugh and another peck to her cheek before he's leaning back to look at the mess they've made.

"You'll have to teach me your ways," he counters smoothly, grabbing a white linen shirt to wear outside because (A) some things never change and (B) he's going to ditch her again and he needs to not get sunburnt while they're apart. "I'll just be outside basking in the cigarette smoke while you get Jeeves to handle all this, then." Meaning he'll call them a cab... and probably smell some cigarettes. Sue him.

Zari clicks her tongue at that. She lets him have it. It'll be fun to give the people smoking outside dirty looks for giving them secondhand smoke. "Fine, but just remember it's worse than actually smoking." She notes sweetly as he takes off. From there, it's not much work to get things set up. Zari is freaking rich. As long as she's willing to pay things happen with relative ease.

It takes about ten minutes for her to get them to agree to pack everything up, send it to the hotel, and have the staff leave it neatly in their room. After giving that poor muscly man the tip of a lifetime, Zari joins John outside with nothing more than the purse she came in. "Done enjoying the smoke, sweetie?" If there are any smokers, she gives them all the most pointed look.

"I hope it is!" he calls sarcastically over his shoulder, fitting his glasses to his face and for all intents and purposes turning into a weird European tourist (which OK is technically what he is but whatever.) Being that they are in future times, it takes him a good minute or two to find someone smoking a real cigarette, but it is Europe still so they'll never ban those things. John being John gets the guy to call them a ride (since you can't just flag them down anymore) by pretending that he lost his phone and telling him that Zari will dump him if he starts smoking again which is you know, true.

It's entirely involuntary the way his entire face lights up at her approach, his voice turning wistful as he answers her though he immediately hates himself for it. Not like that's any different from usual either. "And the view, luv." Which yes, Juan Julio or whoever this brodude is isn't bad to look at, but he mostly meant her. He gestures to the towncar ahead with a flourish. "Your chariot awaits."

He never thinks to question the fact that she sent the bags ahead and his new friend even politely ditches his cigarette to open the car door for them. They're both a little too good at this, huh...

They really are the best at this. It's almost creepy how easily they adapt to life out in the real world away from their respective personas. She doesn't pay that any mind yet. She plays up her role as high maintenance girlfriend to some European weirdo on vacation. John certainly makes it hard when that stupid face of his. Stop making her melt inside!!! "Thank you, sweet prince."

Zari flashes a smile crafted especially to make someone feel really good about giving her what she wants at the man opening the door for her. "Everyone here is so nice." She compliments as she gets in. Once John joins her, she drops her head on his shoulder with a content sigh. "That was fun."

He winks at the man as he slips inside the car behind Zari and the door shuts. His arm immediately cinches around her when she drops her head to his shoulder and he has to laugh.

"I'm glad it was for one of us." But he doesn't sound too put out by it as he turns to kiss her temple sweetly. "Thank you." For the gross amount of money she just spent on him, as much as it isn't in his nature to pay attention to that sort of thing. Part of the reason he peaced out was to avoid ever knowing just how high a bill she rang up in his name.

This is probably a self-driving car, right? When it lurches forward, he holds onto her a little tighter and tries to pretend everything is normal!!!

She knows the money makes people uncomfortable. That's part of the fun of being on the Legends. It literally never comes up how much money any of them has. Their situation is the ultimate equalizer. Zari saves all that talk in favor of pressing a kiss to his collarbone. "You're welcome." It literally benefited her the most, but whatever. He already knows that. No need to talk it over and have him actually ask how much that all costs. Let's just say that store is making rent this month and leave it there.

Zari chuckles at his reaction to the self-driving car. "Don't worry. We got them to stop driving into lakes like a decade ago." She reassures him. Not that they can't handle that!! "Besides, you have your beautiful princess here to protect you." She reminds him playfully. Lowkey it's true tho.

He shivers at that kiss, hand gliding over the back of her neck and latching on to give her a gentle massage. It's a good distraction from his own racing mind.

"That's reassuring," he says with a laugh, nuzzling his face against hers as he mulls the rest of that over mock-seriously. The truth is it is a total comfort to him that she can take care of herself, and maybe even him. "Or maybe I'll get the chance to save you just this once."

She sighs softly as his hand start digging in and nuzzling against her. This is the best ride back to a vacation spot ever. Zari inclines her head to give him better access, snuggling against him contently. "Hmm. I guess you're way overdue for one rescue. It really is exhausting protecting my damsel all the time." She complains with a smile. "Good thing you know how to earn your keep."

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly though if anyone else in any timeline called him a 'damsel' they'd have a problem right about now. Instead, he just keeps rubbing her neck, knowing it's where she holds most of her tension.

"As long as my princess is satisfied."

She is aware of everything she gets away with it. Zari loves it rather than actually think to control herself in any way with John. She sighs contently as he works out all the kinks that came with planning all of this. No regrets, but the struggle is always real even when you can throw money around like nothing.

"She is very satisfied, but there's always room for improvement." Zari opens her eyes just long enough to wink mischievously. Okay his fun time is next, but lbr here it's always Zari's too.

John lifts his eyebrows at that, schooling himself not to laugh. "You'll have to critique me later," he suggests slyly, pressing a kiss to the top of her spine as his hand moves to knead her shoulder.

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